


Living in the Past

by tommygirl



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Amnesia, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommygirl/pseuds/tommygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen knew something was wrong when Jared wasn’t pounding on his trailer door to grab some lunch and hang out with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living in the Past

**Author's Note:**

> for rps-advent, amnesia  
> Much love to Steph for the beta work and to Lara who listened to me trying to figure this out and helped me tons. This is complete schmoop and crack, two of my favorite things.

Jensen knew something was wrong when Jared wasn’t pounding on his trailer door to grab some lunch and hang out with him. The two of them had a routine, consisting mainly of Jared driving Jensen crazy in numerous ways. And okay, some of the crazy was highly enjoyable, but as much as Jensen loved the guy, Jared was one of those people who always liked being around people and hanging out and having fun. Not that Jensen was opposed to fun or hanging out, but sometimes alone time was nice.

Alone time, however, when he knew damned well that Jared should’ve been pestering him and trying to alleviate his annoyance with promises for later, that was not so good. Something was going on and that meant Jensen had to figure out what. Jensen couldn’t help but wonder when his character’s obsessive worrying skills over Jared’s character had bled over into real life. Though his friends preferred terms like “whipped” and “wrapped around his finger,” Jensen didn’t really mind too much. It was what it was and he had given up trying to make sense of him and Jared.

He hurried out of his trailer, ignoring the cold air whipping across his face, to find out what Jared was up to. He knocked on the door of Jared’s trailer, trying to remember the last time he’d actually been in there – Jared believed that Jensen’s trailer was better so that was where they spent their time – while he waited for Jared to open the door. After a minute or so, Jensen pounded on the door harder and called out, “Jared, what the hell are you doing in there, man?”

Jared still didn’t answer. Jensen opened the door slowly and called out, “Dude, this is a really lame joke.” He took a few steps, allowing the door to slam shut behind him. He noticed Jared sleeping on the couch, which only caused Jensen to worry more. Over the last year and a half Jensen had become acutely aware of Jared’s sleeping patterns and the guy was the lightest sleeper in the world...running water woke him up.

Jensen lightly shook him and as his hand moved to push the hair back off Jared’s face, he noticed the bruise forming on Jared’s forehead. Thoughts of concussions and brain damage ran through his head as he remembered how Jared had plowed into one of the lights, bringing it crashing down on him, during a take that morning. Jensen and Kim had both tried to insist Jared go to the hospital and get himself looked at, but like always, Jared smiled and swore he was okay.

Of course, now he wasn’t fucking waking up and Jensen wasn’t even sure if shaking him was a good idea.

“Jared? Come on, man. Lunch is almost over and you haven’t eaten your daily three pounds of chicken yet.”

Jensen let out a sigh of relief as Jared’s eyes fluttered open. Jared blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the light, and he glanced up at Jensen with a look of confusion.

“Man, I think we need to take you to the hospital. You were sleeping like the dead,” Jensen said, patting Jared’s shoulder before helping him sit up. Jensen took a seat next to him and off the look on Jared’s face added, “You must’ve gotten hit harder in the head this morning than you thought.”

“You’re that guy from _Days of Our Lives_. My mom loves you.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, but resisted the urge to smack the back of Jared’s head, reminding himself of possible concussions. “Yeah, like we’ve never had that conversation before.”

“Why is Eric Brady in my trailer?” Jared questioned, but not really to Jensen.

“I’m going to kick your ass if you don’t stop this shit, J,” Jensen replied. Jared stared at him with an innocent look on his face and Jensen added, “You really need to work on your idea of funny.”

“What’s funny?”

“You’re acting fucking weird,” Jensen stated. Jared stared at him, an unreadable expression etched on his face, and Jensen added, “I know how you feel about working through the pain like a crazy person, but man, this is insane.”

Jared rubbed his hands over his eyes. He stared from Jensen to different spots around the trailer. Finally, he smiled. “Oh, okay. I guess we’re sharing a trailer.” He extended his hand and said, “I’m Jared. I play Dean.”

Jensen stared at Jared’s extended hand. He rolled his eyes and said, “Okay, I get it. You’re hilarious. Now cut that shit out.”

“What are you talking about?”

Jensen’s hands twisted into fists at his sides. He took a deep breath, not sure whether to strangle Jared or kiss him until he stopped messing around, and shut his eyes as he counted silently to ten. When he opened his eyes, Jared was peering at him like he was the crazy one. Jensen managed to keep his voice even as he replied, “I play Dean. You play Sam. And just because you spend every waking minute in my trailer does not mean we actually share one.”

“I don’t play Sam. There's no Sam on the _Gilmore Girls_ ,” Jared replied. He stood up and moved over to the table cluttered with junk. He picked up a promo picture from the Supernatural and said, “What the hell is this? Is this some sort of weird joke that Lauren and Alexis are pulling?”

“Uh…” Jensen stood up. He moved over next to Jared and stared at him appraisingly. He crossed his arms and said, “Are you...you’re not kidding me right now, are you?”

“Dude, I don’t even know who the hell you are,” Jared said, getting more aggravated by the second as he looked through the items on the table.

“Okay, okay, why don’t you…shit…uh…” Jensen paused, unsure of what to actually do in this situation. Only Jared could get hurt on the set and become a fucking amnesiac.

Jensen grabbed a hold of Jared’s arm. He wasn’t prepared for Jared to pull away, and he almost lost his balance and practically fell down. He cursed under his breath and pointed to the sofa. He said, “You should probably sit down, man.”

“I’m…this doesn’t…what is going on?”

Jensen hated the helpless look on Jared’s face. He wished there was something he could do, but he was pretty sure that Jared would react badly to any physical contact at the moment.

Jared nodded slowly and took a seat on the sofa. He glanced up at Jensen and asked, “What’s happening to me?”

“I’m not really sure. I think you have some sort of amnesia,” Jensen said. The look on Jared’s face said that he thought it was as absurd as Jensen felt just saying it. Jensen sighed and went on, “We were filming a scene this morning and you wiped out. You swore up and down that you were okay, and you were acting fine as far as I could tell, but obviously, you’re not fine.”

“Obviously,” Jared replied, nodding and clutching at his forehead.

“I better go get someone so that we can get you to a doctor,” Jensen said.

He turned to walk away, but Jared grabbed onto his hand. Jensen met his gaze and Jared asked, “Will you come with me?”

Jensen smiled. “Whatever you want, J.”

Jared smiled weakly in return. “Thanks…what’s your name?”

“Jensen.”

“From _Days of Our Lives_. Right. My mom really does love you.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. Yeah, this was going to be fun.

**

Jensen listened to everything the doctor said, nodding where he was supposed to, but he had no idea what to make of any of this. He thought he left his days of dealing with amnesia behind when he left the world of soaps. He patted Kim, who was asking the doctor questions, on the shoulder and made his way to Jared’s room – one night observation only, the doctor had said. This whole thing was a nightmare and he felt incredibly selfish for it, but he couldn’t help but wonder what this meant for him, specifically him and Jared.

Jensen pushed those thoughts from his mind. Jared didn’t need Jensen’s issues on top of his own. He was freaking out enough – who wouldn’t be – and Jensen had to hold it together. Long before they moved to the rocky terrain of a relationship, they were good friends, and that was what Jared needed...a friend.

Jensen knocked on the door frame and waited for Jared to motion him in. Jared forced a smile and said, “Hey.”

“Hey. How are ya feeling?”

“Frustrated. It’s like nothing makes sense. Like I know that I know you, but I don’t remember knowing you,” Jared replied. He punched his fist into the bed and added, “It’s confusing as hell and everyone is acting like I’m going to break if they say anything around me.”

“It’s gotta suck.”

Jared nodded. He pointed to a chair next to the bed and said, “You can sit down if you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s cool,” Jared paused. He looked Jensen over in a way that Jared usually reserved for late nights and Jensen could feel his skin flushing under the scrutiny. Jared smiled again – this time less forced - and added, “You’re important to me.”

“What?”

Jared repeated, “You’re important to me.”

“Okay.”

“It’s hard to explain. Don’t ask me how I know that, but I do,” Jared replied, throwing his hands up in annoyance.

Jensen reached out and grabbed onto Jared’s hand. The minute he realized what he had done, he tried to let go, but Jared tightened his own grip and ran his thumb over the top of Jensen’s hand. Jensen shook his head and said, “The doctor says there’s a good chance your memory will come back on its own. There didn’t appear to be any permanent damage.”

“Great, but until then I’m walking around thinking it was seven years ago.”

“I think you picked that time on purpose,” Jensen stated. Jared stared at him blankly and Jensen replied, “You’re trying to forget making _New York Minute_. But man, I’ll never let you forget that.”

“What the hell is _New York Minute_?”

“An Olsen twin movie.”

“I wouldn’t…”

Jensen nodded, grinning from ear-to-ear. He said, “You totally did. You were a romantic lead. It’s so cute.”

“Shut up, man. You were on _Days of Our Lives_. Who are you to judge me?”

Jensen chuckled and said, “If it makes you feel better you had a _killer_ scene in _Cheaper by the Dozen_ with Tommy.”

“Tommy?”

“Nevermind.”

“Yeah,” Jared replied. He squeezed Jensen’s hand and asked, “Did I really make a movie with the Olsen twins?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Great. The career I’ve always wanted,” Jared mumbled.

“It’s not so bad.”

“Whatever.”

“I should probably go and let you get some sleep,” Jensen replied, removing his hand from Jared’s grasp and stepping back.

Jared shook his head and said, “I want you to stay.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, J.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” Jensen paused. He couldn’t exactly tell the truth. Jared wasn’t in the right mindset to hear that when the two of them were that close together, things spun out of control rather quickly. Jared might have some weird feeling that he and Jensen were close, but that didn’t mean he was aware of just how close.

Jensen ran his hand through his hair, searching for the right words. He settled for what came to his mind first, “Because you’re not well.”

“I feel perfectly fine. I’ve just got amnesia.”

“You need your rest.”

“I need to know more about my life,” Jared countered. He patted a spot on the bed next to him and said, “And you seem to know a lot about me.”

“Well, we work together and we’re friends.”

“Good friends.”

Jensen smiled and repeated, “Yeah, good friends.”

“More than friends?”

“What?”

“You and me? Are we more than friends?” Jared asked.

Jensen focused on the broken tiles on the floor. This was not the place the conversation needed to go at the moment. Jared needed to focus on getting better, not trying to make sense of their relationship. After all, Jensen still had his memory and he couldn’t make sense of it half the time.

Jared reached out for Jensen’s hand and said, “I told you. I can feel it, but I can’t remember it. It’s weird, but I just know that you matter to me more than a good friend would.”

“I’m sure your other good friends would love to hear that,” Jensen said. He took a step closer to Jared’s bed and allowed Jared’s hand to wrap around his own. He shut his eyes and said, “This is probably too much for you right now. I should...”

“ _You’re_ the one who seems freaked out. I’m fine.”

“You’re fine?”

“Well, I’d be better if you’d sit down next to me.”

“Jared…”

Jared gently yanked Jensen’s hand until he was toppling onto the bed. Jensen tried to brace himself, but his face still hit Jared’s chest as his legs gave out under him. Apparently, Jared was an idiot even with amnesia. Jensen groaned, but Jared’s hands ran through his hair and down his back, causing everything in him to stop.

He didn’t really expect this.

“Please stay, Jensen.”

“Okay, but…”

“Do you think you could stand to be around a guy who doesn’t quite remember you?”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.”

“Then there’s no problem. You’re staying,” Jared replied. His fingers ran along Jensen’s jawline and lips. He said, “I want to kiss you now.”

“Christ.”

“What now?”

“You still know how to ruin moments.”

“This is a moment?”

“Well, it could’ve been,” Jensen replied. He ran his hands up Jared’s sides and arms until he could cup Jared’s face. He watched Jared lick his lips and Jensen watched the last of his willpower fall away. He leaned against Jared’s chest and pressed his lips against Jared’s.

Jared’s hands fisted Jensen’s hair, pulling him closer, and forcing Jensen’s mouth open with his tongue. When Jensen finally needed a breath, he pulled back and smiled at him. He said, “You obviously didn’t forget everything.”

“We should definitely keep testing what I remember,” Jared managed to get out before he brought his mouth back against Jensen’s. Jared’s hands roamed under Jensen’s shirt tentatively at first and then much more confidently, rubbing small circles into the curves of his muscles and pinching Jensen’s nipples until Jensen could only moan.

Jared pulled back and covered Jensen’s mouth with his hand. He said, “Dude, you’re going to get thrown out.”

“I’m not the one doing inappropriate things,” Jensen replied.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No…” Jensen replied, but he grabbed onto Jared’s hand. He added, “But we probably should.”

“Chicken.”

“Brain damaged idiot.”

“That’s not nice,” Jared replied with a pout. He stared at Jensen and asked, “Stay?”

“Yeah, okay” Jensen replied. He shifted until he was lying next to Jared on the bed. He said, “I can’t stay on the bed for long though. The nurses would freak out and the last thing we need is some visitor who recognizes us catching us cuddled up together.”

“They’d just be jealous that I got the soap star.”

“You really need to stop calling me the soap star, guy-who-did-an-Olsen-Twins-movie.”

“It’s possible I hate you and I just can’t remember it,” Jared replied.

“Lucky for me then,” Jensen replied.

“What if I don’t ever remember?”

“The doctors said—”

“—the doctors could be wrong.”

“You’ve got a lot of family and friends that would get you through it if that’s the case.”

“And you?”

“And me?”

“Would you help me get through it?”

“If you wanted me to. Sure.”

“Good because I want you to.”

“But you’re gonna remember, J. Wanna know how I know?” Jensen paused to meet Jared’s gaze. He grinned and said, “Look at me, man. I’m impossible to forget for long.”

Jared laughed and for the first time that day, Jensen was pretty sure that everything would be okay. He and Jared would be okay in the end and really, that was all that mattered.

_{Fin}_


End file.
